But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I love you. Go after that dick
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
