1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize