Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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