I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
