i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
