yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
