I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
