Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
