Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
