Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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