She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
