How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
God I need to hump something, right now.
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