I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
