Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
MIDGETS
????
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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