Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
