I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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