I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
