Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize