Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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