Whod you bang
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
