Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
