Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
