You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
