Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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