Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
