hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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