I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
