dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
