omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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