I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
