Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
