shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
