just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
