Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
