Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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