I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
