Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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