She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
