Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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