I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
