You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
