I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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