he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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