im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
