Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she looked like the before picture.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
