Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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