He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I will pee on everything he values.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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