we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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