and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
