I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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