Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
