Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
