Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
