Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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