I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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