I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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