Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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