i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
